CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
