Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize