My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
