I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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