Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
