I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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