i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
