Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
