You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize