i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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