Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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