Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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