tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
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