guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize