You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
