listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
