we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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