Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
