This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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