you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
