I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
50% drunk capacity currently
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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