Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
