where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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