I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
there is glitter all over my balls
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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