Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
