if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
