STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
