The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
