I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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