Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
