Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
