I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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