I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
