He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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