she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
