I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize