There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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