I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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