We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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