why didn't you poke me back
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
third nipple confirmed
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
