I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
