If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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