the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
