Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
