How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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