ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

  Fav 64 1447 3464

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love

  Fav 47 3765 7813

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (713): View more from Texas

  She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.

  Fav 13 1111 4181

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.

  Fav 5 2375 1342

  share tweet
  

• (276): View more from Virginia

  You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.

  Fav 6 2631 1089

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.

  Fav 1 1229 701

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (815): View more from Illinois

  My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?

  Fav 3 676 1094

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.

  Fav 1 539 791

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.

  Fav 2 1066 509

  share tweet
  

• (807): View more from Ontario

  Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.

  Fav 6 543 983

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college

  Fav 1 421 805

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (585): View more from New York

  I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...

  Fav 0 128 113

  share tweet
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.

  Fav 0 113 21

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background

  Fav 0 60 14

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.

  Fav 0 61 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize