everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
