it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So many bounce houses so little time
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
