How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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