so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
