She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
