All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
