atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
