i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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