this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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