I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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