You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
