It's Friday. Sex?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize