I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize