Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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