How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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