She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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