sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
