Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
